I am grateful today for the promises made before God and family and friends 38 years ago. I must admit that I went into our journey thinking that if I could commit to all those years of basketball and school and work, I could commit to a lifetime with this guy who proposed three months after we first met. I had witnessed my parent’s relationship and others in our neighborhood and I convinced myself that my marriage would be a fairy tale. I never saw all the work that went on behind the scenes but I would quickly learn that marriage is not just being on a team or learning hard lessons or showing up every day and loving one another. It’s all those things put together and so much more.
From the beginning, I would race home to our apartment each day after work and hop two steps just to get back to us. We’d make dinner and sit on our beautiful ecru couch with TV trays in our laps and watch shows together. We’d chat about our days while cleaning the kitchen and start all over the next day in simple and complete happiness.
Years passed. We bought a house and started growing our family. He joined me working at St. Mary’s Bookstore and as life got busier things changed. We were both trying to fully commit to a growing business and a growing family and our growing relationship was put on the back burner quite often. He tolerated my crazy juggling act and my hard-headed need to handle everything myself. He supported my travel for buying trips and my time away on spiritual retreats. He was on the journey and into the journey and, thank the good Lord, he persevered.
Time passes so quickly doesn’t it? Our youngest is a senior in college this year. We have long since disposed of that once beautiful ecru couch after years of scrubbing stains and flipping cushions. Together we have learned many hard lessons about letting go of the “things” of this world and committing to God, our marriage, our family and our community. We work together almost every day but are still excited to get back home to us. He does most of the cooking and we sit together, watching On Patrol Live or football or sitcom reruns. I’m still juggling and hard-headed and he totally gets me.
Relationships are a LOT of work. Life is not all fairy tales. Raising children is not for sissies and neither is getting older. But I’ll say, if you can keep a good sense of humor, pray for one another, stay on the same team, be open to learning, work hard every day and enjoy the time you have amidst all the hectic-ness of the world, you’ll be able to look back at your journey and honestly say that the promises, the commitment made on that one special day many years ago is well worth it.
Jean d dortch
I am so proud to be the Mother and Mother-in Law of this pair… But I will try and look at the overall writing
and reasoning that can be gotten from this piece….. Personally I find nothing to not like in this..
I am not a journalist except for myself….. But , the need for this is so important for so many people… the content overtakes any other concept for me…. How can I get this to others …
Josephine Cox
Julie,
Thank you for this beautiful writing of your journey with Alan.
You are so right. Marriage is not easy and it takes a lot of hard work. Don and I have had many ups and downs. However, our commitment, love and faith we vowed to each other 47 years ago, has never wavered. Neither one of us would want to do this journey called life with anyone else! 🥰
Joanne Sullivan
Julie, beautifully said. In fact, commitment might just be a great topic for a new Julie Cragon book. To me, commitment means a desire to work hard to ensure the well being of another person. Not necessarily to only wish fairy tale blissful happiness for that person, but to sometimes help that person face some of life’s most difficult situations, and often harsh realities of life, by being honest. Commitment is the result of a relationship based on truth- someone presenting the truth, and someone accepting the truth. I often hear people say relationships are about “trust” but I really think they are more about “truth,” because truth is the actual basis for trust. Also, it would be easy for some people to believe they are in a committed relationship with another person, without knowing if the relationship is actually based upon self serving manipulation or a true desire to have an honest relationship with that person. Sometimes, a relationship can come across as being “perfect…they agree about everything…never a misunderstanding or a difference of opinion.” To me, this is NOT a perfect relationship at all. This represents an arrangement that will continue to work until one of the persons does not “get his or her way “ about something— and the couple does not have the ability, or tools, to work through the situation together. The relationship cannot survive without the couple’s commitment and strength to work through their problems together. This is what builds trust over a long period of time.
Congratulations on your anniversary and beautiful marriage! May God bless you with many more wonderful memories and years to celebrate! ❤️✝️❤️
Jeanne rast
You are good, sister.